This week I have found myself thinking a lot about the deaths of some of my family in the past few years, while I have also sought to be a support to others who are facing the grief of having someone they love die.
I find that one of the issues that I deal with is a deep grief that I was not able to do anything more for my family in their last days -- or 'do it better.' I know I am not being rational about it -- for I gave all of myself that I could give as well as I could give it. I still find my grief for those I loved a mixture of loving and missing them deeply and my wish that I could have done more for them as they lay dying.
In that mix of feelings of grief and guilt, I continue to give thanks for the very idea of hospice (which came to the US from England just a few decades ago). Hospice is a program that will aid you in your home or in a hospice facility, to help make the death of one you love both easier for them and for the whole family of friends. Like anything, each hospice organization (and each one is a local organization) is only as good as the people staffing. Some of the hospice folk I have met have true blessings who stepped in when they saw that I was at the end of my strength both physically and emotionally. But there have been times when either I did not know to ask for more help as a crisis grew (or even that there was more help available).
I guess my greatest learning has been to trust in hospice but to realize that every death is different - so ask questions -- lots of questions -- especially whenever there is a change in the condition of the one you love. Turns out that hospice folk LOVE it if you call -- even if you call a lot. I tend to try to take care of things without asking for help -- but in the case of hospice I have learned that it is better to see my job as constantly asking for help in assessing what is happening and what is needed. I hope that my learning things the hard way may help you in your own journey. Peace.
npc
our church
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Big Tent
I'm back! I'm back from an incredibly wonderful conference -- called 'Big Tent.'
It was actually nine conferences of the Presbyterian Church (USA) all in one place -- i.e. under one big tent. There were over 1700 people there with more workshops and major speakers than I can easily count. Our worship experiences were both energizing and thought provoking -- and I was able to pick and choose which workshops to attend out of any offered by each of the conferences.
Right now my head feels stuffed with thoughts and new ideas and I am still trying to unpack it all. One thing I learned was that I can 'tag' my blog with major themes so it is easier for folks to find on the web -- who knew! I am clearly a newbie at blogging.
Another fun area of learning was all the new songs that we shared in worship as we entertained some of the new songs being considered for the new Presbyterian hymnal. It was fun singing them and fun learning that we are free to use them for the next year -- to just try them out. So we're going to sing one this coming Sunday --an oldie (1869) that Pete Seeger made famous -- 'How Can I Keep from Singing'
More thought provoking were the three discussions I attended about the new major changes in our constitution (Book of Order) that governs how we live and worship and do our work together as a church. I asked lots of questions and listened a lot and think I'm beginning to get a handle on what those changes will mean for us as a congregation.
It was actually nine conferences of the Presbyterian Church (USA) all in one place -- i.e. under one big tent. There were over 1700 people there with more workshops and major speakers than I can easily count. Our worship experiences were both energizing and thought provoking -- and I was able to pick and choose which workshops to attend out of any offered by each of the conferences.
Right now my head feels stuffed with thoughts and new ideas and I am still trying to unpack it all. One thing I learned was that I can 'tag' my blog with major themes so it is easier for folks to find on the web -- who knew! I am clearly a newbie at blogging.
Another fun area of learning was all the new songs that we shared in worship as we entertained some of the new songs being considered for the new Presbyterian hymnal. It was fun singing them and fun learning that we are free to use them for the next year -- to just try them out. So we're going to sing one this coming Sunday --an oldie (1869) that Pete Seeger made famous -- 'How Can I Keep from Singing'
More thought provoking were the three discussions I attended about the new major changes in our constitution (Book of Order) that governs how we live and worship and do our work together as a church. I asked lots of questions and listened a lot and think I'm beginning to get a handle on what those changes will mean for us as a congregation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)